Friday!

Yay! The weekend is here. Man, what a week too. I worked HARD this week and today took forever to get here. I got home this afternoon in time to help Darin finish replacing the front door on our house. Our old door had a small window way at the top and the new one is a 15 lite door with lots of glass. It really brightens up the house with natural light and I love it already. We also removed the trim around the living room windows and put in some foam insulation stuff to cut down some of the draft. Then we replaced the weather stripping on the living room windows and replaced the trim. We put the trim back up around the other door that was replaced last weekend. I am really hoping that we can feel the difference next winter. I HATE having to keep the window blankets closed all the time, not that I enjoy looking at snow day after day, but I NEED light. Maybe we'll be able to open during the day now that we are fixing them.

Darin and I worked well together today. In the past, we have butted heads and argued about how to do things. I have realized that this is because I am bossy and because I thought I had more experience with home projects than he, so I made myself the supervisor. Things work much better if I just let Darin do things the way he wants to unless his way is WAY more expensive or unsafe. He has also cut back on his version of bossiness. He makes me the go-fer...go-fer this, go-fer that...I dont like to have to go to the basement and pretend that the tolls are in some way organized because they are not and I can never find what he sent me to get. I used to get really annoyed...get all your tools together before you need them so I am not always sent to get stuff. I still need to practice saying "Get it yourself" in a nicer way.

We still have a lot of projects coming up this summer but we got a good jump on them. I think de-cluttering the house will help us to get to the areas that need to be fixed, so I think I will tackle another room tomorrow...we'll see if the kids let me get anything done.

What do you mean by self sufficient?

Are you kidding me? How do you get to be a college graduate and not know the meaning of this? I am frustrated because there are so many things I want to accomplish and others are looking for things to do to fill their time to keep from getting bored. Get a job. I had a paper route at the age of 10 (I think) and then got a real job at 15 on a worker's permit. I felt the need to have cash and to pay for some things for myself. I have worked ever since then. I dont remember a period of time that I didn't have a job. How am I going to teach my children to be self sufficient and hard working? How am I going to make sure they understand the value of working to earn something rather than being handed everything? How will I balance my need to provide for them and their need to have to fight for things for themselves? I want them to learn the word "entitled" after they move out of my house.

Can I teach this to a college graduate or is it too late? She isn't mine, so is it really my place? Will it work if all her needs are met by her parents? Why am I so concerned about her success? She can find her own way in the world and I could just shut-up, but something makes me open my mouth and offer unsolicted advice. Is there a point to all this?

I pray that I will parent my children well and that they will grow to understand the ways of the world when I can still protect them somehow.

I have nothing to say

I have wasted much of my afternoon and much of last evening reading blogs. I found them all at the only blog I read regularly http://www.thepioneerwoman.com/. Some of the people who post comments have their blogs linked and I checked a few of them out, and by "a few" I mean probably as many as 30. I know, I know the laundry needs to be done and supper needed to be made and lots of other things were being neglected, but I started to enjoy peering into the lives of others. Hey, they invited me to do so. I am happy to say that my life isnt terribly exciting on an every day basis, and I like it that way, but there are some things that just beg to be shared. I thought I would try this format out and see if it works for me.

I have debated several times with myself about starting a blog and I dont know why this time is any different. I have questioned whether I would keep up with it, or whether anyone would read it, what Voice" I should use, whether I would actually journal or write as if there is an audience. I think I will let it take on a life of its own. If anyone does read this, dont expect to be entertained...in fact this might just become the place I make my list of things to do, or where I spend a little quiet time reflecting on things. That is not to say that I wont use this to document some of the things that my children say and do, since that is what happens in my life everyday.

I picked the title without much thought behind it. I didn't think I had it in me to be clever or punny or wise, so I used a phrase that I need to realize daily. I think I get bogged down sometimes and feel so busy that I think I need more time for myself. I don't. I need more time for God. I forget to give Him credit for all that I am and all that I have. I forget to thank Him for the blessings in my life. I frequently see things in my daily life that are from God, and I recognize it in a passing moment, but I do not take time to really recognize that He is reaching out to me. I hope to be able to fill my thoughts and actions with the Love of God, that my family will beneift from this.

On that note, I need to go love the laundry situation into some sort of order. After all, it is going to be bedtime soon, and my bed is under the laundry. As my friend Julia would say...OIY!