It became clear

Lots of times I need a neon sign to understand what is expected of me. Lots of times I just think I know it all and that I dont really need to check in with reality often. I think I have it all together and I feel pretty good about things. Then there are the times that things are not as clear. Times when I should pause and contemplate purpose and meaning and messages. It is these times that are much more understandable after time has passed and decisions have been made. Most recently, this clarity fell upon me when I returned to work after my gallbladder surgery. If you read my last post you know I was thinking along the right lines, putting my family first and I was trying to figure out how best to do that. I made the decision to change my full time job to a different one, one that just found me. I am now working in a job where I feel appreciated everyday. I like that. I like to feel like I am making things better for someone and that they trust me to help them out. I am really able to connect with the clients at this new job, rather than meet them in passing and hope they do well under the care of colleagues. I get to work with a team of people who work hard and like what they do. They smile and laugh and joke with each other. They care about who I am and they want to know me better. These are the things I like about my new job. Some of this is similar to my old job, but it just feels different and better. I feel renewed by this change. I also like the new schedule. I like that I have weekends to spend with my kids and I can go to church on a regular basis. I like that I am going to be able to coach soccer if I want to and take time away for our anniversary if I choose to.



The fact that I can look back now and see that this was the right choice from the beginning is reassuring. I dont doubt that this will work for me and it will allow me to be home and present for my kids despite the longer work days. Sometimes I get subtle hints and nudges in the right direction, but often it takes a big bold event to make me pay attention. This time it was unplanned time off and a chance to re-think things that made me realize what needed to happen. Thankfully God knows what it takes to get me to pay attention and since things happen in His time, I am guessing the neon signs come out when I am being too slow for Him. I dont think I will ever heed the small hints as important because I know the way the Lord has worked in my life. I expect I will keep having moments in my life when I look back and see how clearly this path was set forth for me and how I needed more than a gentle nudge to follow it. I like it that way. I dont do subtle well.